saw this one coming

If you’ve seen anything on facebook or Instagram, you’ll know I’ve decided to head back to Australia to join staff at YWAM Newcastle.

I’m going to share a little bit about what’s on my heart concerning that, so be prepared for real, raw honesty.

I knew that YWAM staff was where God was leading me, but the decision was a hard one. I had a couple of details that were a bit messy, and committing to leave home after just being gone is really something I had to give thought to.

I had just started to repair relationships with my friends and family, and get involved in my church. I just started taking online classes and was going to work at the cutest coffee shop in town. It was all so easy.

I think that’s where the hard part comes in. Doing God’s will is never easy, but I’ve learned that he’ll usually give you a heart for what he’s calling you to do.

And he has.

Guys I am so stoked to join staff at YWAM and mentor students and lead outreach teams. God’s given me so many ideas, and on the way home from the airport I felt God telling me, “Pray for your future one on ones.” I was like WHAT??? but I did it anyways. I prayed that God would start to move their hearts towards YWAM Newcastle, and that he would start to get their hearts ready for the growth that comes from being away from home for six months.

But I still had some concerns. It’s full time mission work, so my first assignment is to get together a team of people who will prayerfully and financially support me. I know that God is a provider, but everything I have ever needed my whole life I got for myself or my parents got me. I have never fundraised for anything I was passionate about (4th grade Jump Rope For Heart does NOT count!!!).

If you read my post about purpose, you know that I’ve never been one to put myself out there because there is always someone who is doing better than me, and what if I give it my all and still fall short? What if I put everything I have for the next two months into fundraising and don’t get to go? And look like an idiot in front of my friends and family who told me college was the right option? What will they think if I told everyone “this is where God is calling me”? They will question my ability to hear God’s voice, right? Did I even hear God right?

These are the thoughts that hit me almost every hour. Fear sucks, yall. I’m so over it.

The other night as I was having a small (okay, big) fear moment, I heard the voice of my Sunday School teacher pop into my head. She has such a gift for memorizing scripture, and in my head she said, “He is Jehovah Jirah.”. I forgot what it meant, so I had to look it up.

When I saw the search results on Google, I was FLOORED. It says, “The Lord will see to it…He will provide.”

What the heck!! That is so awesome! I have been learning that he will provide for me (because he is a provider), and besides that, he does it because I am his DAUGHTER. What father is going to tell their kid to go to the store and get groceries for them and not give them the money for it? In the same way, God isn’t going to send me to Australia to call out to dry bones (Ezekial 37) and make disciples in his name and NOT give me the resources to do so.

So it’s not on me. It’s not up to me to go raise all the money I need. While I do need to give effort to that, I don’t need to stress and cry and freak out about it. He is Jehovah Jirah!

Isaiah 12:2- “Yes, indeed—God is my salvation. I trust, I won’t be afraid. God—yes God!—is my strength and song, best of all, my salvation!” (MSG)

3 Happy Things: (what I’m loving rn)

  1. friends
  2. monks coffee
  3. fiji water





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